Cleaning as therapy


The weekly micro-decorating newsletter * Issue 13 of 13, SS23 *
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As a kid, I was always wowed by our family's collective cleaning binge before leaving on a summer holiday. For some reason, we had to get things to a never-before-seen state of perfection before we had the nerve to lock the front door and head for the open road.

Living solo, when I go off on vacation now there's a memory of this ritual – but no pressure to enforce it. Growing up has its benefits, one of which is choosing the exact spot your apartment lands on the neatness/messiness spectrum.

In wilder bachelor days, I took comfort in the words of a famous British iconoclast:

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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. – Quentin Crisp

Lately, I've been hooked on the pleasures of a clean home and have the expertise to get it that way – thanks to a talented man who visits every six weeks. Even though I'm around while he works, I'm puzzled by his magic. How can chrome get that shiny? How can dust evaporate?

It's not just the post-visit sparkle I savour. It's that everything looks... well, different. Here's a corner of my place on a typical day:

Here's the same area after my cleaning guy's latest blitz:

"That looks wrong!" is my usual uncharitable reaction to such rearrangements. Then after a moment or two, I go: "Hmmm, I kind of like it like that."

In all the picking-up and putting-down my cleaning guy does, it's only natural there are memory lapses – how can he possibly copy the original placement when he's focused on other things?

It's a lesson in acceptance. If you're someone who enjoys displaying objects, it's good to have someone else challenge your way of doing things. Like going to a new hairstylist for the first time, and bracing yourself for disaster, it's a thrill finding out the new is just what you need.

So if you need a therapeutic intervention in being less stiff and uncompromising, hire a cleaning guy (or gal). Not only will your home gleam, you'll renovate your outlook too.

Thank you for reading. See you in September!